Fully dropped the ball this week! Since launching my online PT and nutrition site and advertising my face to face training almost 10 weeks ago AND adding classes to my workload, my alarm goes off at 4.30am. Everyday. Not complaining because this is awesome! This is the busy working mum thing, it’s ok to drop the ball occasionally! We’ve also had swimming carnivals, parent teacher interviews, footy games 2hours away and a bloody 15mth old that is a little nocturnal at times. Whilst I hate missing deadlines, even ones I set myself, last week I just couldn’t do it all. My weekly blog was the victim unfortunately, because I chose being kind to myself instead.

This week I reflect on my time working as a manager in big box gyms versus small 24/7 versions. I’m doing this because I think it’s important to remember where we came from, good and bad these experiences shape the person I am today. 

When I was offered my first role as a general club manager in a fitness club I had absolutely

no idea what I was in for. I was a membership consultant for a whole nine days before I was offered my own little club. I am damn sure I was considered a ‘band-aid’, management definitely didn’t expect me to last, but it was quickly apparent that I could sell, news to me too! Little did they know I had no choice, I had to make it work, as the sole parent to 3 little men under 8, I needed the security of holidays and sick entitlements and a regular pay check.

I had held management positions before and I had also been a business owner, I thought I knew a fair bit about management. However, management in a fitness facility is like no other, most days something different would have me asking wtf?? Now ,10 years later not much surprises me.

I’ve always considered myself to be a ‘people person’. I enjoy being around people and I like to think I can talk to most people without issue. So managing a facility that was all about the people should be easy right?

No, not always.

One of the hardest things I had to learn to navigate through was how much members believed they knew me. The nature of a small club like mine meant that it was inevitable that over time members would see more of who I was outside work, but as a private person, I struggled with my business being everyones business. 

It did help that one of the part owners at the time insisted during my induction that I ‘had’ to accept friend requests from members on my social accounts. Looking back, I am disgusted in myself for allowing myself to be manipulated in this way, when I realised that it was ridiculous and that an employer can most certainly not dictate who I have on my social media, it was too late, deleting ‘friends’ was seen as a direct insult and in turn resulted in cancellations of memberships, because yes, even back in 2013 people were ‘that’ precious. 

Anyway, because our members decided that they knew me, it somehow meant they had the right to have an opinion on very personal things in my life such as what I weighed, how I behaved when I socialised and even what they saw in my trolley when I shopped. I even had someone tell me that I allowed my children to participate in ‘too much sport’. 

I took most with a grain of salt, all bar the weight thing…..

The pressure to walk the walk and talk the talk was extremely high. For a person that has had body image issues her entire adult life it was very confronting. Never mind that I was going through a very private hell in my personal life. I prided myself on my game face, it pleased me that members would often ask me if I was always ‘this happy and smiley?’ It meant that my mask was firmly in place. 

During the early years, I worked for both the largest fitness club and the smallest fitness club in the area, both owned by the same franchisee. This in turn meant that most of the exercising community had at one point been a member in one of these clubs. Don’t get me wrong, for the most part, I loved our members, so many I helped get started on their journey to a healthier life. So many I cried with when they shared their reasons why. So many I had the privilege of watching grow to their potential as they achieved their goals. Some I ended having as firm friends long after I left the North Coast. There was also the odd one or two that made me question the person that I was, my values and self worth. In a ‘customer’ focused industry, it still blows my mind that there’s times I let ‘customers’ question my self worth.

Unfortunately, I’m a comfort eater. When I’m stressed, anxious or mentally exhausted the chocolate demons get me. Running a fitness club was at times the most stressful job I’ve had, managing teams, achieving management expectations which included tough membership ‘sales targets’ and accomodating members needs and wants isn’t always the easiest job in the world. I could fluctuate 5-10 kilos in a season depending on what I felt I had on my plate, pardon the pun. It didn’t matter how much I trained, if my diet isn’t clean, I gain weight. There have been times where I have read comments about my weight on members Facebook pages. Initially angry, almost always these comments destroyed myself confidence. I wasn’t a celebrity, I was just a widowed single mum doing her best to provide a safe place for people to exercise. Rational me knew that those making the comments were always members who felt disgruntled for one reason or another, sensitive me though, she’d retreat into her shell. The harder I tried not to care about what people thought, the more I actually did care, that pissed me off. Always trying to find the positive, I learned to use this kind of stuff as a motivator to pull myself out of whatever rut I was stuck in. 

Interestingly, I was in my early 30’s in the early years when I was subjected to this crap. In my 40th year I was running a different club in a small town when I fell pregnant, I rapidly gained weight but it wasn’t obvious that I was pregnant, no one knew until I was quite a ways along. No one ever made me feel insecure and I most certainly was not trolled on socials over it either. Can it be said that there’s a higher level of respect paid my way because I’m now seen as the mum and it’s accepted? Or were the members just nicer? Food for thought though either way. 

Moving on, I was at times a mediator, one day a neighbouring business called the police on a member that was in his opinion being aggressive, which he was, but a look at our security cameras told me that both of these grown adults were are pathetic as each other. A less then gentle reminder that they weren’t in the school yard was required on more then one occasion. At the time I had 6, 8 and 10 year old sons who could settle their disagreements better then these two men. 

I was aware that for some, their gym community and the daily routine of ‘going to the gym’ was all they had in their lives. In the small club I managed in particular, I saw this a lot. My office was on the gym floor and not one member could come in or out of the club without passing by me. I was usually at work far longer then I should have been with a young family at home. I saw most members everyday.

One day, I learned just how much members saw me as ‘theirs’. 

One particular day, something had gone down at home. I think one of the boys had a broken bone or something, I can’t quite remember. I was obviously more pre-occupied then I thought, because that evening when I got home a received a message from a very regular, long time member telling me she wanted to cancel her membership because I didn’t say hello to her that day. I had no recollection of even seeing her that day. My mask had slipped…

I had to explain why I was the way that I was that day and I was forgiven. Part of me wanted to change the way that I was with my members, be less friendly, but I couldn’t, it’s not who I am. I later learned that she was also recently widowed and the only friends she had were at our club. A lesson that for some the gym is more then just a place people go to exercise.

Fitness clubs attract all walks of life, contrary to popular belief, they are not just full of ‘gym junkies’. Sure, they have their fair share of ‘look at me’s’ both male and female. On more then one occasion I heard myself assuring a new member that she would not be looked at or judged by ‘those’ people, not unless she got between them and the mirror. I have been entertained often when checking security footage and observing the appreciation some members give themselves when they think no one is watching. That said, I’ve learned to not judge, those ‘gym junkies’, that stereotype that is so commonly associated with gyms are also just like you and me, with their own insecurities, their own problems, their own reasons why they do what they do. Chose kindness. 

Over time, it became apparent that I couldn’t really go ANYWHERE without running into someone that was a member, mostly a nod or a wave and hello, but sometimes;

If I was enjoying a night out, I’d get 

‘Should you be drinking that? Is that healthy for you?’

Um, well you are here too? Should you be drinking that?

‘I don’t recognise you without your active wear’

Same mate.

In the supermarket 

‘Don’t look in my trolley, there’s bad stuff!’

Dude, I could not care less what you put in your trolley, you do you. But by the same token, the contents of my trolley is none of your business either….

Speaking of supermarkets…

There is a young couple who have stuck with me through all my years in the industry, I still get a tear in my eye at how sad this made me feel.

One night I ran into the supermarket to grab a few things on my way home. I ran into two members that were participating in our 12 week body transformation challenge that was running at the time. I said hello and went about my business. It’s to be noted that the female in the relationship was extremely underweight, while her boyfriend was the extreme opposite. Both were very unhealthy and needed all the support in the world.

I was wandering the isles when the girl literally ran up to me and requested I leave the shop. She told me that she wanted to eat hot chips for dinner, but her partner saw me and felt like he should eat healthily. 

My draw dropped.

What followed was a confession I’ll never forget. I had gently told her that it was a good thing that her partner wanted to eat better, he was a very high risk for so many fatal diseases, not to mention his own personal self loathing and effect on his mental health. She on the other hand, was living off two minute noodles, just one packet a day.

She confessed,

“I’m worried that if he loses weight, he’ll find someone better than me and leave’.

Hectic conversation to be having in Woolworths on a busy weeknight. Broke my heart. They were so bad for each other in so many ways, I couldn’t very well tell her that she was effectively killing her boyfriend though could I? It was terrifying. 

Side note for those interested, a couple of years later I had moved to our bigger club and her partner came in to rejoin, with a new girlfriend…….. blessing in disguise for all involved there I think.

I was never off the clock, it was occasions like this that reminded me so. I left the supermarket that night amazed, confused and so so sad for them both. 

I could honestly go on for hours about the things I experienced, I haven’t even touched on managing staff in this industry. Whole other thing, for another day far into the future! 

Despite the crazy, it’s also pretty rewarding. As I sit here now, in my personal training studio I have built, I know that the things I have learned make me a stronger trainer, I never assume, I’m far more open minded and I understand that ‘generic training’ is ridiculous as no one fits in a box with a label.